Arthur Hightower with the Los Angeles Chargers

Arthur Hightower is the Senior Director for Player Engagement with the Los Angeles Chargers, where he's had 16 seasons of cultivating relationships and developing hundreds of young athletes taking the next steps in their career - and the rest of their lives. Don't forget to subscribe to ThePurposeLab with Dr. DF Arnold on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or through your favorite podcast app!

"Nothing beats failure but a try."

Wisdom from Arthur's mom, we don't know if we're good at something until we try. He adds that, when we don't try, we've already answered the question.

On his typical day with the Chargers

He has the chance to help them have solid, gainful employment in their athletic career and beyond. He says, for many of the players, this is the first time they've had a job and it's working through simple things like understanding a paycheck and taxes. Arthur says some of these young men will have an average career that has them playing until they're in their 30's, so their next career will be even longer than their time in football.

On his purpose in life

Arthur asks himself, "How do I make an impact?" There's a level of trust you have to have with people and he says that his "currency is his relationship." He recognizes he has a lot of currency after 16 seasons and he hopes that these athletes have currency with him. He's seen triumph and tragedy throughout that time and knows how valuable relationships are in all aspects of life.

On the "Two day, two week and two months" speech

Arthur says the average rookie class is about 25 young athletes, so it's important they know their time is valuable. He says that first time he encourages them to look around at the room and notice who's missing, time becomes even more precious. He says, for them, it becomes real when they realize friends have been cut or they have a new roommate in camp.

On who inspires him.

Arthur chases this this question throughout the episode. He says his family is a big source of inspiration. He recognizes that so many people have played a part in who he's become. He says his wife has been with him since he was a grad student delivering flowers, knowing he had this vision of greatness he was pursuing.

On the three things he tells himself daily

He's reminded of his mom's word, "nothing beats a failure but a try." This keeps him doing new things, despite whether or not he thinks he'll be good at them. He also remembers his dad's advice that "when you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life" - and Arthur says he's living that now with a big smile on his face. He also asks himself if he's made that impact, and not even just at work. He says we can do this by remembering people are more than a name tag and by acknowledging the value others bring to the world.

On failure

Arthur has kept a book filled with rejection letters and reminders of the times people passed on him. He says it's a motivator, not from a place of shame or frustration, but in as a reminder of where he's come from and an affirmation of his value. He says he keeps all the letters because he knows, it's all about getting that one opportunity and these letters were what brought him to the success he has today.

On his journey to the Chargers

He played football in college at Florida A&M and decided he wanted to pursue graduate school. He thought coaching may be his path, and in pursuing great leadership from Billy Joe with the University of Minnesota, he discovered it really wasn't for him. He ended up transferring to do more with athletic administration at Florida State University, where he ended up taking an internship with the NCAA. He developed a reputation for great work and cultivated relationships that brought him full circle with professionals he'd met during his internship. He reminds us that relationships are our currency and they can be our ticket to the right opportunities.

On the importance of words

He knows how encouraging, empowering and inspiring words can be to our families, our colleagues and the people we interact with every day. Arthur says words can inspire action.

On tackling fear

He says the first time he played football, he quit because he didn't like the tackling. But what if he hadn't pursued the opportunity? He says he may not have liked the contact, but he recognized it was part of the sport and he stuck with it. He reminded himself it is part of the job. He says fear cannot paralyze him from taking action. He says it's so important to just acknowledge, name and speak those fears out loud to prevent yourself from not taking action. You can't overcome what you don't acknowledge.

On what he’d tell his younger self

Everything has a purpose. You may not know what role that thing, obstacle or connection means today, but it will serve a purpose when you get where you’re going.